Being Present For The Holidays

“Don’t let a mad world tell you that success is anything other than a successful present moment.” - Eckhart Tolle

If you are anything like me, the holidays are a very stressful time of year. From what I remember it's supposed to be full of cheer. I am happy to say this year compared to the past ten years will probably be the best year I have ever had for the Christmas holidays. 

10 years ago I suffered a major mental breakdown in my life. This is the first time I'm saying this out loud, ( besides doctors and close family). Which led me on a path of searching for a fix for my "issues" that I didn't really understand. Of course, I saw a Psychiatrist, and I took and still take medications. But I knew that would not be enough for me to be whole again. To make a long blog short, this path led me to become "The Self-Proclaimed Solitary Buddhist", and this blog. Buddhist practices seemed to help with a lot of the issues I was dealing with. Slow at first, it took years. I wasn't leaving my room, and I wouldn't visit with my family. 

Meditation For Stress Relief

Meditation For Stress Relief

Have you tried meditation to solve your stress and health problems? If you haven’t yet, now may be one of the best times to make that experience a reality. Mediation is one of the most sought after forms of stress relief and is even recommended by many doctors.

If you are someone that spends your evenings worrying, stressing about all that needs to get done and even feeling physically bad without being sick, then meditation may be an ideal solution for you.

In meditation, you transform the way that your mind is working. While you can’t say that it’s a simple process, meditation is something that you can easily learn to do and then use daily.

In fact, studies show that when you do allow yourself (especially your mind) to meditate for just a few minutes each day, you can reduce the stress levels you face improving your quality of life.

There are many more benefits to meditation. For each person, this experience is going to be quite unique. If you wish to find out what it can offer you, you must learn to meditate. There is nothing negative that can come of meditation.

As you will learn the further you look into meditation, there are many different types of meditation. Some are very ancient methods that have been used for thousands of years by various cultures. Others are much more modern and, in such, are sometimes more popular. Yet, learning about these types is something you should invest in.

Finding the right type of meditation for you is key and the process means educating yourself about the various types of meditation that you can select from. Yet, all of these methods of meditation will fall into one of two different classifications. If you were to select meditation on any sole factors, it would be based on these two methods available. Thoroughly exploring both of these methods of meditation can be very important to finding success. You’ll need to experiment with both types, eventually, to determine the best route for you to take.

Focused Meditation

 

 

 

 

 

 

Concentrative Meditation

The first type of meditation is that of concentrative meditation. In this type of meditation, the focus is on the way that you breathe, on an image, or on a sound. Sound, or mantra, is often used. By using these tools, so to speak, you are able to clear the mind and allow for greater awareness as well as clarity.
To focus on meditation, you’ll use one of these elements to help you to focus. By focusing on it, like you would a camera lens, you can then effectively reach the state that you are in.

Breathing

One method of concentrative meditation that is commonly used is that of concentrating on your breathing. It is probably the most simple of methods to use because you can do it any time without much need.

Breathing is effective because of how it plays a role in your daily life and well being. Many of hose that practice other alternative medicines, such as yoga, also believe that breathing is essential to maintaining the correct state of mind. In meditation, it is believed that breathing must be regulated in order to meditate properly.

You can see this clearly in your everyday life without considering meditation at all. When you are relaxed and comfortable, your breathing is slow and deeper. But, when you are worried, stressed or anxious, your breathing speeds up. If you are distracted, this happens as well. By regulating your breathing, you can focus your mind and gain control over it more effectively.

But, how does breathing effect meditation? Have you ever felt overwhelmed and anxious? Were you afraid or even terrified? If so, then you may have told yourself to take a deep breath and to calm down. As you can see, you can control your own breathing.

As a tool in meditation in the concentrative methods, you can gain control over your mind using breathing. To do this, you must regulate the breathing. To do this, you’ll need to focus on the rhythm of your breathing. The rhythm is the movement between inhaling and exhaling.
When you do this, sit and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing, the movement of air in and out of your body. You’ll need to concentrate on that breathing and only the breathing you are doing.

Soon, your meditation on breathing will become something that helps to ease your mind. You’ll see this as your breathing becomes more regular and then deeper and slower. When this happens, your mind too is changing. It becomes quiet, calm and collected. You’ll feel serenity and peace. You are also more aware of your surroundings and more likely to gain the benefits of meditation.
Breathing is just one example of concentrative meditation. There are many other forms, some of which we will talk about later in this book. Yet, remember that there is another type of method of meditation that accompanies concentrative meditation as the two forms that all methods and techniques of meditation fall under.

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindful meditation is quite unlike that of concentrative. If we use the example of a lens to help show the difference, you can see this. In concentrative meditation, you are concentrating on one single thing, focusing the lens on that one element, like breathing or something in the room that you are in.
On the other hand is mindfulness meditation. Here, you are not focusing your lens, but widening it to include more and more information.
 
You may wonder just how including more of what is happening in any one moment can help you to collect your thoughts and focus your mind. Yet, the fact is that you can do this because of how you do it.
Using your abilities, you’ll become very much aware of everything around you including all of your feelings, the things that you see, the things you hear, the smells and sounds, the very elements that you may want to filter out of your mind.

From here, though, something is unique. You’ll notice and become mindful of these things, but you will not react to them. Instead, you are simply taking in whatever is happening in your mind. Don’t become overly involved with these elements. You won’t allow for images, thoughts, or memories to filter into your mind here as they do when you are concentrating.

Because, you are not becoming involved with the images and elements that are filtering through your mind; you actually calm down. Your mind is now clearer because it has taken in many of the things that are happening around you. You aren’t focusing in on any one thing. Instead, you are aware of everything going on, but not participating in it.
 
Although this method of meditation is one that is less well known and used by beginners because of how challenging it can be, it is still an ideal choice because it allows for a renewed sense of being and wholeness. By focusing on everything but not on one single thing, you can clear your mind fully.

All types of meditation fall in one of these groups. You will either use methods that are concentrative, in which you will concentrate on one thing to enter into a meditative state or you will use a mindfulness meditation method to enter this state. For those that are looking towards these methods and wondering which to choose, don’t. You can use both types of meditation to gain benefits and sometimes one method will work better than others will. With the ability to learn either type, you’ll be that much better at meditation that fits what you are doing and what your body and mind needs at any one time.






Namaste

A Summary of Buddha's Teaching

“...when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and the benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
- Attributed to BUDDHA

A Summary of Buddha's Teaching

The vastness of the Buddha's Teachings can be a bit overwhelming, especially for the Solitary Practitioner. I have outlined what I think are the basics of what I have discovered on my path to learn the Dharma. When things begin to be a bit overwhelming, I return to the basics. I hope this benefits you in some way.

Buddha set forth his teaching in the following doctrine;

 The Four Noble Truths:

1.  All things and experiences are marked by suffering/ disharmony/ frustration (dukkha).

2.  The arising of suffering/ disharmony/ frustration comes from desire/ craving/ clinging.

3.  To achieve the cessation or end of suffering/ disharmony/ frustration, let go of desire/ craving/ clinging.

4.  The way to achieve the end of suffering/ disharmony/ frustration, is walking the Eightfold Path.

The Eightfold Path to the end of suffering:

1.  Right Understanding of the following facts:

•  the truth about suffering ... (The Four Truths);

•  everything is impermanent and changes;

•  there is no separate individual self- this is an illusion. (We are one!)

2.  Right Determination to:
•  give up what is wrong and evil;

•  undertake what is good;

•  abandon thoughts that have to do with bringing suffering to any conscious being; cultivate thoughts of loving kindness, that are based on caring about others' suffering, and sympathetic joy in others' happiness.

3.  Right Speech:
•  Abstain from telling lies.

•  Abstain from talk that brings harm or discredit to others (such as backbiting or slander) or talk that creates hatred or disharmony between individuals and groups.

•  Abstain from harsh, rude, impolite, malicious, or abusive language.

•  Abstain from idle, useless, and foolish babble and gossip. Abstain from recrimination and negative statements.

•  Abstain from harsh speech—practice kindly speech.

•  Abstain from frivolous speech—practice meaningful speech.

•  Abstain from slanderous speech—practice harmonious speech.

•  Speak the truth if it is useful and timely. Practice only necessary speech. Let your speech be filled with loving kindness. Speak that which alleviates suffering.

4.  Right Action:

•  Peaceful, honorable conduct; abstain from dishonest dealings; take concrete steps necessary to foster what is good.

•  Do things that are moral, honest, and alleviate suffering. Do not do things that will bring suffering to others or yourself.

5.  Right Livelihood:

•  Abstain from making your living from an occupation that brings harm and suffering to humans or animals, or diminish their well being. This includes: activities that directly harm conscious beings, and activities that indirectly harm sentient beings, e.g., making weapons or poisons.

6.  Right Effort:

•  Foster good and prevent evil;

•  Work on yourself—be engaged in appropriate self-improvement. The essence of right effort is that everything must be done with a sense of proper balance that fits the situation. Effort should be balanced between trying too hard and not trying hard enough. For example, strike the balance between excessive fasting and over-indulgence in food. Trying hard to progress too rapidly gets poor results, as does not trying hard enough.

7.  Right Mindfulness or wakefulness:

•  Foster right attention.

•  Avoid whatever clouds our mental awareness (e.g., drugs).

•  Systematically and intentionally develop awareness.

8.  Right Concentration:

•  Developed by practicing meditation and/or mental focusing. Proper meditation must be done continuously while awake, and should include work on awareness of body, emotions, thought, and mind objects.

Five basic precepts:

1.  Abstain from killing living beings (from destroying/taking life)—or practice love.

2.  Abstain from taking the not-given (from stealing)—or practice generosity, practice giving.

3.  Abstain from sexual misconduct—or practice contentment.

4.  Abstain from false speech (from lying)—or practice truthfulness.

5.  Abstain from taking intoxicating drinks—or practice awareness and mental clarity.

Buddha said:

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. Do not believe anything because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything because it is written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and the benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.


The following prose, attributed to Buddha, expresses the way he perceived the world.

Buddha said:
•  I consider the positions of kings and rulers as that of dust motes.

•  I observe treasures of gold and gems as so many bricks and pebbles.

•  I look upon the finest silken robes as tattered rags.

•  I see myriad worlds of the universe as small seeds of fruit, and the greatest lake in India as a drop of oil upon my foot.

•  I perceive the teachings of the world as the illusions of magicians.

•  I discern the highest conception of emancipation as a golden brocade in a dream, and view the holy path of the illuminated ones as flowers appearing in one's eyes.

•  I see meditation as a pillar of a mountain, nirvana as a nightmare of daytime.

•  I look upon the judgments of right and wrong as the serpentine dance of a dragon, and the rise and fall of belief as traces left by the four seasons.

A really good book that covers the basics and more

A Beginner's Guide to Tibetan Buddhism: Notes from a Practitioner's Journey by Lama Bruce Newman. The author takes the beginner by the hand to walk through the intricacies of the path, making complex ideas and terminology plain and simple. A solid, down-to-earth book.

 

Top 10 Buddhist Books for Children

Top 10 Buddhist Books For Children – And The Benefits Of Buddhism For Children

Buddhist books for children are a great way to introduce Buddha's teachings.

Starting to teach a child about Buddhism at a young age can be very beneficial.

The benefits of Buddhist books for children

Buddhism can teach children to think for themselves, teach them about empathy and compassion. Which is needed since we, as a society, have failed in teaching these values to our children.

Serious flaws in our education system result in basic skills not being learned. Society cries out for change, and attempts are made, but are we making any progress?

Also parenting and human interaction could be improved upon. Centuries of the principle that humans are innately evil, of penance, of shame and guilt induction, of duty and obligations are hard to shake off. We imprint bad habits on our children and start cycles all over again. The suffering does not end.

Buddhist stories can help shift towards a more healthy, less violent culture. Maybe you do not realize our culture is completely permeated with violence (a striking example is our language).

Some more benefits:

• Buddhism can help develop compassion in a culture where violence is made enjoyable. Just think about the majority of movies and children’s cartoons in which the hero kills or beats someone up.

• A developed introspective look helps banish neuroticism and superstition. If you are able to feel what’s going on inside and outside, you are better capable of empathy.

•  Empathy breaks down hierarchic structures and, more importantly, imagination requires empathy.

In his book The Empathic Civilization bestselling author Jeremy Rifkin points out that global empathy is essential in being able to cope with the great challenges of our time. A drastic change in human consciousness, are needed. Empathy will be needed for our survival as a species.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” –Albert Einstein

Buddhism can be fun too

Enlightenment doesn’t require sitting under a tree for days. Nor does it call for being taught about or believing in Buddhism.

Just by amusing yourself and your child with the often both entertaining and meaningful Buddhist stories you may give them an edge in becoming generous, compassionate, virtuous, responsible, and self-reflecting beings.

These books may provide them with tools for learning what is really important in life and equip them with some basic skills needed to find happiness.

The top 10 books on Buddhism for children

This list contains the most popular, highest rated, best selling books. It also explains why these books are so great.

Through these books children will learn the basics of Buddhism. The beautiful colorful illustrations, and vivid metaphors will also teach children about relaxation, happiness, breathing, and even meditation.

Buddhism made accessible and enjoyable for children. This book covers a broad range of Buddha's basic teachings. It includes 20, both short and long, stories about how to be wise and thoughtful. These stories are modern retellings of ancient Buddhist tales.

They have shown to be entertaining for children and adult parents alike. In fact they contain wonderful lessons for grown-ups as well. So beware, as a parent or grandparent you might learn something new and educational along the way.

Buddha at Bedtime

#1 Buddha at Bedtime 

Buddha at Bedtime offers an introduction to basic meditation and relaxation techniques, and demonstrates how to discuss the stories with your child. Furthermore there’s an overview of The Four Noble Truths, The Eightfold Path, and The Five Precepts.Recommended for children of ages 4-10.

Buddha at Bedtime: Tales of Love and Wisdom for You to Read with Your Child to Enchant, Enlighten and Inspire by Dharmachari Nagaraja.

#2 The Three Questions

Based on the short story by Russian author Leo Tolstoy, 

The Three Questions

The Three Questions is such a book that’s highly valued by both children and parents as well. This story concerns a king who wants to find the answers to what he considers the three most important questions in life.

Jon J Muth’s The Three Questions teaches children about compassion and living in the moment. The beautiful water-colored illustrations and the charming narrating style make this one of the best Buddhist books for children.

Focused on children aged 5 to 9 but readers from all ages might be able to satisfy their basic spiritual needs with it too.

This author’s children’s books have received numerous awards.

“The Three Questions is quietly life-changing” according to The New York Times Book Review. Here’s the praiseful NY Times article.

”The Three Questions” presents a world of moral consequence and choice, where questions of right and wrong must be puzzled out and where each person’s actions really do make a difference. Young and old readers alike will take heart from that.”

#3 Peaceful Piggy Meditation

Peaceful Piggy Meditation

Simple meditation techniques for children. Peaceful
Piggy Meditation is a great book in itself but is also very useful as a tool to help restless, hyperactive children find some inner peace.

This book deserves to be in the top 10 because it is one of the few children’s books on Buddhism that explains and teaches age-appropriate meditation techniques.

Despite it’s core topic being meditation the book has a down-to-earth, modern narrative style (e.g. there are video-game playing pigs). Reading this book at bedtime might help create an oasis of calmness and relaxation in a childs (and their parents) life.

“The book guides children through the reasons why meditation is necessary, and believe me when I say it is the best book on the market for doing so (I looked around extensively). Especially good is the “mind-in-a-jar” experiment at the end of the book which gives a concrete, hands-on demonstration of why meditation is necessary.” Amazon reviewer

Peaceful Piggy Meditation (Albert Whitman Prairie Books)

#4 Zen Ties

Zen Ties

Probably the best child book on Zen. Zen Ties is another book of the hand of author and illustrator Jon Muth. In this particular book, Muth has done a great job in making Zen ideas and practices accessible to children.     

Themes of this book are; non-judgment, acceptance, friendship, forgiveness, connections, and community.
This is another example of a book written for children that is capable of teaching adults some valuable life lessons too.

“He lovingly distills the wisdom of ancient Zen teachings into the most touching and practical stories about the things we all come up against in life and frequently do not, despite our best intentions, know how to handle.”

#5 Each Breath a Smile

Each Breath a Smile

Great book on mindful breathing and a wonderful

children's book written by Sister Thuc Nghiem (Susan Swan), a grandmother, former teacher, and a nun in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh.

Each Breath a Smile shows children how to relax and enjoy happiness through mindful breathing. This way they learn about Buddhism and how breathing the right way can help them experience calmness and joyfulness.

For preschool-aged children.

Each Breath a Smile by Sister Susan. Plum Blossom Books.

#6 I Once Was a Monkey: Stories Buddha Told

I Once Was a Monkey

An introduction to Buddhism for children. Another example of a book that does a great job at offering children an introduction to Buddhism. The key themes of this book are; trust, telling the truth, friendship and kindness

I Once Was a Monkey: consists of short stories addressing universal values. These stories are based on jakatas.

Jakatas are tales that Buddha told. They are based on the experiences, and lessons that Buddha learned through his past lives as different animals. Buddha has been a monkey, dove, lion, jackal, and dove.

#7 Anh’s Anger

Anh's Anger

Anh’s Anger The author of this book is Thich Nhat Hanh , one of the most renowned Buddhist authors, Zen master, and Buddhist teachers. His typical sensitive and caring approach make this book about anger a true gem.

It teaches both children and parents about the value of acknowledging and resolving complex emotions such as anger.

“A really simple and yet profound story of a grandfather teaching a young boy how to sit with the difficult emotion of anger. A lesson not just for children but grown ups as well.”

#8 A Pebble for Your Pocket

A Pebble for Your Pocket

Another children's book by Thich Nat Hahn. It covers core topics like living in the now, awareness, and spirituality in general.

A Pebble for Your Pocket isn’t a picture book, so it’s probably best suitable for 8-12 year olds and children that read independently.

“A Pebble for Your Pocket is a gem from a true spiritual master.” Parenting with Spirit magazine

#9 Parrot and the Fig Tree

The Parrot and The Fig Tree

The Jataka Tales are a group of folk stories that
originated in India, each of which relays an ethical teaching. Animals and magical beings, representing Buddha’s former lives, play an essential role in these tales.

The tale of Parrot and the Fig Tree introduces seasons, the interdependency of all beings, and the value of loyalty.

A parrot refuses to abandon his good friend, a fig tree, even during winter when the tree has no figs, and eventually even when it is destroyed by a storm. For his loyalty to the tree, the parrot is rewarded by the god Shakra, with the rebirth of the tree.

#10 Magic of Patience (A Jataka Tale)

The Magic of Patience

Buffalo persists in being kind and patient with the
mischievous Monkey, despite all his annoying tricks.

Core topic of this book is how to show patience, instead of anger, and how this behavior can yield goodwill and harmony.

*Includes coloring pages.

Buddhist stories can open the hearts and minds of people but don't take my word for it. If you investigate it as the Buddha said you should you’ll know it’s true.

Buddhism, offering its insightful look into human nature and motivations and all life around us is a great way for your child or grandchild to inspire them to read and think deeper, search further, and explore their own as well as feelings of other living beings on our planet.

Golden Lotus

The Illusion of I and Why Practice Buddhism?

The Illusion of I

          The Buddha said that this self which we call an "I" is an Illusion created by a mind which cannot penetrate reality - such a mind is suffering from ignorance. As we practice the Buddha's path we will begin to replace ignorance with wisdom. With wisdom, we will realize that a person is essentially a set of processes, or behavior's grouped into two classes: Mind and Matter. The second group appears as a solid body but is in reality a series of processes or qualities (solidity, fluidity, heat, and motion) which are forms of energy in various combinations. They are never constant, always moving, always changing, so they have no ultimate reality. The first group is more subtle, although they are also energies ( feelings, perceptions, mental habits, consciousness). They too have no ultimate reality, but are constantly changing, and so rapidly that the normal person cannot perceive the change and mistakes it for something permanent. These energies are neither are neither created at birth not destroyed at death, but go on relentlessly through what we call samsara. (The Buddha went further and discovered Nirvana, in which the energy and its ceaseless activity is permanently stilled, like the flame of a candle being blown out.)
       
      The Buddha's path can be realized gradually depending on how sincere, and how determined we are on following it. But understanding must be there in some degree, no matter how small, if we are to practice Buddhism correctly.

Why We Need To Practice Buddhism?

      The Buddha teaches that, because of ignorance, we must have created the illusion of a "real" self and then we are trapped in the cycle of births and deaths because of this. We cannot escape from it even though we enjoy temporary flashes of pleasure; we are at it's mercy. But when we come into contact with the Buddha's teaching we are offered a way out to overcome this suffering; we become masters of our own fate. We must follow the Noble Eightfold Path. When we have followed the path successfully, and broken through delusion, we have have achieved Nirvana - this is the final peace and salvation. And following of this path is what we call PRATICE of  BUDDHISM.

I would like to thank Vijaya Samarawickrama for this great teaching from his book "A Buddhist Reflects On Spirituality".

This is The Self Proclaimed Solitary Buddhist wishing you a Blessed day and passing on all of my accumulated merits to you and yours in this life or the next.

Meditaion Method For Relaxation

In the last post, we talked a little about learning to meditate and its benefits. In this post, we are going to talk about unlocking our hidden potential through meditation.

Relax and watch the breath

People who don’t practice meditation often misunderstand it. Very often, you’ll hear it referred to as mystical or transcendental, which makes them feel wary about trying it. When in fact, it’s simply a practiced skill that can help bring clarity to a cluttered mind. I know I get quite a few strange looks when I tell people what I like to do for relaxation.

Without going too deep in to what meditation is, or isn’t, let’s focus on one of the many things a daily meditation can do for you.

Meditation is often seen in Yoga classes and is widely practiced by a variety of cultures, countries and religious groups. I only mention this so you can understand that the art of meditation is perfectly safe and commonly practiced by millions of people around the world.

Some of the more documented benefits of meditation include less anxiety, irritability, moodiness and decreased depression. It can help improve your learning abilities, memory and unlock creativity. It can also slow down the aging process increase feelings of vitality and rejuvenation. Not to mention it can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and produce higher blood oxygen levels

There are many types of meditation, but the easiest form to learn that I have encountered thus far is, “breath awareness meditation.” Compared to many other meditation techniques, this will enable a person to experience the benefits of meditation in much less time.

Here's a simple technique that I found gave me results in minutes. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and tense up your whole body. Blow as much air out of your lungs as you can. Then breath deeply through your nose and release the tension from every muscle. Just feel each part relaxing, watching for parts that may hold onto tension, like a tight jaw.

If you still have tension somewhere, tense up that part again, then let it relax. It may also help to repeat silently like a mantra "relax" as the tension drains. This will train your body and mind to recognize relaxation. Later you may be able to relax more easily just by repeating the mantra "relax" a few times.

Breath through your nose. This is important because it brings in more oxygen by involving your diaphragm more. You can test this. Breath with your mouth and you'll notice that your breathing is shallower. Then breath through your nose and you'll notice that your abdomen extends more. Air is being drawn deeper into your lungs.

Allow your breathing to fall into a comfortable pattern, and pay attention to it. Pay attention to your breath as it passes in and out of your nose. Your mind may wander endlessly, but all you have to do is continually bring attention back to your breath.

Focus Meditation

If your mind is still too busy, try naming the distractions as a way of setting them aside. For example, say in your mind, "itchy leg," "worried about work," or "anger," and then immediately return attention to your breathing. Use any way you can to identify and set aside distractions.

That's it. Continue this for five or ten minutes at first. Afterwards, I open my eyes and sit there for a few seconds. I feel relaxed, and my mind refreshed. Also better prepared for any challenges that come my way.

Meditation has many rewards, and through daily practice, one can learn to release the unlimited potential of your mind and body. For example, Since I've started writing this blog, my mind has become clearer allowing me to be more productive.

In my next post, I will be continuing to talk about how to use meditation exercises for relaxation.

Until then, Namaste _/l\_

The Self Proclaimed Solitary Buddhist